I used to do it every year. Make all these New Year’s Resolutions goals I wanted to achieve.
I started doing it again this year and, at first, it felt so good to list it:Write another letter. Create a home study. Visit my children regularly. Break up with my husband. Yoga class at least 3 times a week.
But when I reviewed this list, I was surprised by my reaction. Instead of being energized, I felt unmotivated. Huh? These were the things I most desired, the achievements that would feed my soul. Why wasn’t I happy?
Then a line from A Course in Miracles popped into my head:“Don’t want them without you . . . because you will surely fail.”In other words, I will never get what I haveindeedI want it if I keep looking for it ‘outside’ or where I can find it.
Suddenly, I had a flash back. New Year’s Eve, 1995. Top of my list: Finish my first book. Not because I enjoyed writing. But as a published author, I will finally feel important. However, two years later, I passed by a bookstore, saw my book in the window and waited to feel important. Instead, I heard nothing!
Looking back on that memory, I now realize that what I’m really looking for is not a tangible goal. It’s the way I want to feel when I get it.
So, this year I made a brand new list: To enjoy the satisfaction and joy writing gives me. Enjoying the joy of working with my team in creating something new. Spending more time immersed in the love of my family. And feeling connected to my soul, healthy in my body and experiencing long periods of inner peace.
Reading these now, I feel stronger and happierfor any unforeseen events or imaginable opportunities that the universe may bring.
What if you do the same?Rewrite your decisions, write the feelings you want to have without insisting that you know how to get them. Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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