Life is easy when you can make good connections with other people. As I recently found out, building a connection with your service provider can also save you money or give you better service.
One of the ways I accumulate wealth is by spending money on massages. I like getting massages, especially after physical training, but they are expensive. So, I waited for years until I signed up again for a massage app called Zeel. The app allows you to schedule a masseuse to come to your home and choose the type of massage you want.
The cost for an hourly massage is $129 plus an automatic tip of 18%, for a total of $152.22. I decided to book a masseuse for two hours, one hour for me and one hour for my wife. It would be our first massage in over six months.
Creating Connections Creates Added Value
Because it had been a long time since I had a massage, my period was somewhat painful. The masseuse kept massaging my pressure points to loosen the muscles in my right trapezius, arm, back, and calves. If you play tennis and pickleball a lot, like I do, these muscles get very tight.
At the 55 minute mark, I was asked to roll over from my stomach to my back. Phew! Only 5 minutes to go! I thought. Despite telling him to take the pressure off, I still felt like I was trying to cope with low-level abuse.
But when I rolled onto my back, he started going to town on the upper part of my pecs, which tickled like heck! But with a laugh, it freed me, and I started talking to the singer in Mandarin, his native language, about his life.
Ask Someone About You
If you want to connect with someone, ask them about the things that are most important to them. Watch as the words come out and the warmth between you grows. I don't think we are asked nearly enough by others how we are doing or how we are feeling.
As a result, many of us are dying to share our stories. In some ways, being able to share my stories with Financial Samurai has been one of the best therapies since I started in 2009.
A Hard But Happy Life
I asked the old man about his job, his family, and how he came to America. She opened up about how busy she is these days, giving 30-40 hours of massage every week. After seven years in the app, he now has a large number of regular customers, which keeps him employed full-time.
His son is 19 years old, and I asked him what he was doing. He said he was looking for a job while attending City College of San Francisco, a community college.
I asked her how old she was when she stopped wanting to live with him, and she said she was 12. Before she was 12 years old, she clung to him at all hours of the day. But after 12 years, even if he asked her about her date, she would just answer immediately and go to her room to play video games. I told her that I hope she'll appreciate all her hard work when she's in her mid-20s, trying to make it on her own.
After all, the mother raised her son alone since he was two years old because her husband did not like the life they were living in San Francisco when they legally immigrated to America. Two years later, he packed up and returned to China, where he continues to live.
He told me to cherish the time I have with my two children. Although it is not easy to raise them when they are young, they will grow up before we know it.
In the end, the masseuse ended up giving me an 85 minute massage, 25 minutes longer than what we had paid for in advance. My wife kept checking to make sure she wasn't drinking.
Instead of wishing for my massage to be over, I ended up feeling good about connecting with the helper, who I hadn't seen in four years. I will definitely hire him again.
Meanwhile, I'm sure mamase is happy that someone asked her how she is, in such a superficial way. By providing more value to his clients, he continues to accumulate more business opportunities in the future.
Life Is Easier When We Connect With Others
If you want to build more wealth and create a better life, one of your goals should be to increase your emotional intelligence. This mostly means thinking about other people and listening to their opinions while putting aside your own issues.
With so many different personalities from different backgrounds, it is important that we take a moment to listen. We may come from different political parties, races, genders, and socioeconomic backgrounds. But at our core, we all have a desire to be heard and seen.
Avoid Being Foreclosed on
Not only will you save more money or get better service if you have a good relationship with someone, but you will also reduce your chances of being scammed.
Using remodeling contractors and auto mechanics to fix your car comes to mind a lot. These two fields are notorious for some sellers taking advantage of their customers. So if you find yourself a reliable contractor or auto mechanic, treat them well!
For example, a contractor I used to renovate two buildings in Golden Gate Heights told me the following: “If I work in a more expensive area, like Pacific Heights, I charge twice even if my materials and labor cost the same. Those homeowners have a lot of money. They don't know how much things cost.”
If you build a friendship or at least a relationship based on respect, sellers will think twice about taking advantage of you. If they have that untrustworthy gene, they will just skip you and use their next customer.
Simple Tips for Building Better Relationships
- Give a generous tip for a job well done.
- Say “thank you” and highlight specific things they've done that you appreciate
- Offer food, beer, or water to vendors working near your house.
- Ask them about their families and hobbies.
- Ask them about their business and how they got started.
- Tell them you enjoy leaving good reviews online.
- Offer to help someone first before asking for anything.
- Give them a small gift to show your consideration.
- Know yourself before asking for something.
- Talk about something local they might enjoy, eg. local sports team.
You'd think everyone would do this, but you'd be surprised. Every day, I get emails from people asking for advice, but most don't even bother to introduce themselves, let alone talk about a specific topic or book of mine they've read and appreciate.
If you take the time to make connections, your life will always be better. Not only will you save money on products and services—you'll find more business opportunities, get more promotions and promotions, and make more friends. In turn, if you have children, they will also benefit. And of course, it is up to you to teach your children good manners.
The next time you see someone, go beyond just asking about their day. Convey by asking about the things they care about the most. If you do, you might get a pleasant surprise in return.
Student Questions and Suggestions
Why do you think some people don't make the effort to communicate? If people basically take care of those they love the most, wouldn't it make sense to treat people well? Can you give an example where you made a connection and benefited as a result?
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